I'm glad you are here.
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I'm glad I am here too,
here on this planet,
at this time.
My story
My curiosity and interest pointed early on in the direction of Tantra.
But I came to know tantra and it's healing powers much more intimately through the death of my life long friend.
Such an impactful death, and the loss of her support in my life, spun me into a deep depression back in 2014. The year after loosing her, we almost lost our oldest son to a severe brain infection. I did not know how to cope with that much intense emotions and I was diagnosed with burn-out. I wasn't able to connect to loved ones like before and I couldn't see the point in being happy. Luckily a dear friend of mine decided to take me to a week long retreat with an impactful tantra teacher and shakti conduit, Igor Kufayev.
The meditation sessions were long sits of agony for me, during which I was tormented by all my unprocessed feelings. Until the third day of the retreat, when he came over to me and made a seemingly minor gesture in my direction, which brought on a form of powerful burning healing I had never experienced before. For a split second, which felt like an eternity, I saw all the horrors play out again in front of me, the force of which knocked me to the ground. But this time it felt like the burning had a purpose. The heat forced itself through my body, burning all remnants of sadness to ashes. I temporarily couldn't move my body but the agony had left me and slow simple content flooded my body. That evening I couldn't talk much, only giggle, when I tried to speak, and I had the strange sensation of blowing bubbles out of my mouth every time I tried to talk.
The rest of the week, and the following years I have been on this path of integrating tantric philosophies and their healing potential. I was very lucky to study with my friend, fellow community member and local tantra teacher, Swami Ravi Rudra Bharati, who taught me the practice, embodiment and spiritual lineage of the Himalayan traditions.
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The playing field is life itself, embracing the pleasures of beauty and grief alike.
Making the Mundane Sacred.
Education & Experience
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I was born in The Netherlands, traveled to many other countries until falling in love with my now husband and immigrating to the US.
We have 2 lovely boys and live at Earthaven Ecovillage in North Carolina. This is an experiment in communal living, off-grid power systems, compassionate communication, green building, group process, farming and other sustainable practices in both land management and personal relating. I am a coach in support of spiritual and embodied awakening.
Education and Experience
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Neo-Tantra Lab, building Erotic Community, US, 2023
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Wisdom of the Whole coaching certificate (WWCC), US, 2023
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Tantra Teacher Training, with Swami Ravi Rudra Bharati (formerly Rudolph Ballentine) a practice in the Himalayan (Shakti) Traditions through Dancing Shiva queer Tantra Monastery, US 2018-2022​
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Mentorship with Swami Ravi Rudra Bharati (Dancing Shiva) 2010-now
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Student and Teacher of Conscious Kink, healing Power Dynamics 2016-now
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Witnessing Whiteness continued education at Earthaven Ecovillage, US 2016-now
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Polyamory coach, US, 2016-now
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Gaia University online student advisor, US, 2014-2016
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Racial Equity Institute training, US, 2013
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Inner Empathy, (voice dialogue) workshop J. Donaghue, US, 2013
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The Work that Reconnects (created by Joanna Macy), both as student and teacher
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Doula training in prep for my 2 homebirths, US, 2010
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Gaia University, Graduate Diploma in Eco-Social design, focus on Women's Economics in rural areas and Pattern Thinking and Design, US 2007-2009
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NVC training at Earthaven Ecovillage US, 2008
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Conflict mediation training and practice at Earthaven Ecovillage, US, 2008
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Permaculture Training, US, 2008
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Natural Health practice, focus on eye-yoga, The Netherlands, 2000-2002
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Natural Health certificate, Natural Vision Improvement, Australia, 1999
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Social-Artistic Therapy, Leiden, The Netherlands, 1998-1999
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Carpentry Internship, 1998, The Netherlands, practicing carpentry 1998-today
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